Divini

Yoyoyo, what's crackin' ?
Haha, girls, here's a list for you ;D

Who's the hottest guys in Hollywood ? We're about to find out..



At 7th place, here comes Eric Von Detten. He's got that cute littlebrother thing, don't u think ?



At 6th place I'll give you.... Richard Gere! Don't matter how old he gets, he's still looking good for his age!



The fifth hotty is....Francis Capra, from the movie Crank. Isn't he just to adoreble?



The fourth handsome guy is Jude Law, with his sexy eyes look. 

 

The 3rd one is close to winning, if you ask me. But rules are rules, and I don't make them. Here's Ryan Gosling!



This beauty is the most wanted man in every womans dreams ! Matthew McConunahly (i'm not sure of his last name)



Now girls, here's the number ONE! Channing Tatum! He's goregous and also a very good dancer !



That's all for me :) It's friday night, and the city can't breathe without me in it.
Peace, love and respect ;D hahaha

We need to talk about Kevin

We laughed, we drank and we were singing around the fire down the woods. The air were filled of joy and happiness. I've never had so much fun before, If you want me to be honest. It was the time of my life.

 "okay, wanna play a game?"  Beverly said and giggled. "What kind of game is It this time?" Kevin asked. We were all together around the fire, me, Jonah, Beverly, Dan, Chris, Sebastian and Kevin.

"I dare!" she said. Everyone sighed. "oh, come on Bev. You can do better than that!" Chris said and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "But I want to play I dare. Now.. Jonah. I dare you to take of your shirt and massage your nipples!"  Everyone laughed and Jonah got himself on his feet. "Watch this!" he said and took his shirt of. He runned around the fire, groaned while he gave his nipples massage.

  "Ey, sit down, you're scaring me!" Sebastian said and waved his hands. Jonah did as he was told and started to look at us. He choosed me. "Karen, I dare you to kiss Kevin passionated." I looked at Dan, he didn't seem to care. "Is It okay If I kiss Kevin?" i asked. "Ye, sure. I mean, It's just for fun right. I don't mind." Dan gave me a smile.

 I walked over to Kevin and looked into his brown eyes. My lips almost touched his and I was shivering. You may wanna know that I've always had a thing for Kevin. Even though Dan was my boyfriend, me and Kev had some kind of connection. This was our first kiss.

And It felt good. I didn't tasted his tounge though. Dan was sitting right next to us.

When I was done, I sat between Dans legs again, with his arms around me. "Beware, Dan. Now maybe she's in love with Kevin because he's a better kisser than you!" Chris said. Dan laughed. "You talk like you know. Have you kissed Kevin, Chris?" He was blushing. "You know what I mean, don't be stupid!" Beverly started to sing and dance for Chris. "I wanna make love to you, oh tell me tell me tell meeeeee". "She's really drunk! Can I join her?" Jonah asked and giggled. "Why, you wanna make love to Chris to?" Kevin said. Everyone laughed, again. I didn't wanted this night to end, ever.

After a couple of hours everyone was really drunk. Including me. Beverly tried to stand up. "Karen, I gotta go to the bath-oom." she said. "You mean the bathroom?" i asked and giggled. "Yeah, come with me Karen. I won't take a pee alone." I walked her to the lilac bushes. "Ah, that feels good" she sighed. "Not as good as a kiss from Kevin" i whisperd. "I knew It! You want him, don't you? Well, listen to me, girl. If you want him, then take him. He's obviously in love with you to, so what you're waiting for?" Beverly said, tried to pull up her panties and burped like a man. "Would you keep your voice down? I do what I want, and I want Dan. that's It, come on let's get back to the others."

"..so she was like, all over me you know. Crazy bitch." Sebastian said and took a gulp of his beer.

"That's the blind girl, right?" Jonah asked. "No, why?" "All over you man, come on, at least she have glasses?" Chris laughed. Sebastian throwed a beer at Chris. "Why do you always picking on me?" They started a discussion about Sebastian, why they loved to tease him. I walked over to Kevin and sat by his side. "You're so quiet. You're always the one that everyone notice." Kevin looked at me with his brown, mystical eyes. "I'm to drunk, I guess." Dan came over to me. "Honey, let me kiss you". He grabbed my face with his both hands, but I turned away. "No, you smell. It's growse." He got mad. Or dissapointed.

I turned to Kevin again. "Were ware we?" He smiled. Trust me, I could die for that smile. "Something about that Dan smelled and that you would like to kiss me again?" Suddenly he had a serious look in his eyes. I was just playing along. "Yeah, Dan smelled really bad. He has been drinking to much." He stared at me. "And what about the other part?" I looked down. "Dan Is my boyfriend.." He stood up straight and walk away in the bushes. Did he got mad ? My first thaught was 'go over to Dan, he's your boyfriend'. But then I changed my mind, and followed Kevin instead. "Hey, where are you going? The party's just begun!" Jonah said and raised the beer up in the air. "Jonah, we've been party for two, maybe three hours" I awnserd. "Whatever, be a bitch!" I just shrug my shoulders and walked after Kevin.

I saw him. He sat and were smoking a ciggarette. But when he saw me, he stepped on the ciggarette faster than I could blink. "Nice try, Kev. I know you're smokeing, and that your favorite is Prince" i said and sat beside him. Even though I couldn't see his eyes, I felt that something was wrong. And I felt a weird smell.. Suddenly he took my hand. "We've been knowing eachother since kindergarden. The whole crew is my family. So is Dan. But I can't let him kiss you when I'm the one that should be kissing you." All of the thaughts were gone and I just sat there. "Are you trying to say that you're in love with me?" I asked and shiverd. "Yes." When i heard that word I felt happy. Happier than ever. This was what I've been wanted to hear for so long. "I gotta be honest with you.. I'm in love with you to. But Dan and I have been a couple for three years. And me, kissing you, is not fair. We're all best friends." I removed my hand from his. I knew It was wrong of me, sitter here and tell Kevin that I'm in love with him. Kevin stared at me. "I want you. Forget about Dan" "I can't Kevin. I want you but.." I couldn't say much more, because he was kissing me. This time It was so passionated as It could be. And all I wanted was more. He stopped kissing me and I grabbed his neck and pressed my lips against his. "Don't stop kissing me!" i said. And he didn't. After a while we decided to go back. He took my hand and kissed It. "I'm so glad that you will be mine, you know that?" I smiled. "I'm so happy that you want me as much as I want you. But give me some time with Dan, alright ?" He nodded.

"There they are! Where the hell have you been, guys?" Sebastian layed his arms around me and Kev. "Come on, there's plenty of vodka left. Let's party!" Beverly gave me a look. She knew. I just smiled at her and she was smiling back. "Come here baby" Dan said and grabbed my arm. "Let's have fun".

I could hear the birds outside my window. I open my eyes and saw the sun shining right at my face. Today, I was going to tell Kevin that It wouldn't work. I had Dan. That was It. But still I couldn't help thinking about last night. His brown eyes staring at me, his beautiful smile and his lips next to mine. That was just painful.

The phone rang and I awnserd with a "talk". I heard Dans voice "Goodmorning beautiful. I hope you're not feeling to bad with all of that you drank last night, because tonight It's party time again" . I just wanted to die. Hearing Dans voice made me feel worse than ever. He was a great guy, handsome, carefull, mature and social, and he was all mine. But I didn't want It.

The evening came faster than I could imagine. We sat at Sebastians house. Or acctually, garden. The sun was just going down, so It started to get a little cold. We drank and laughed, like we always do. Everybody but Kevin. I felt that something were wrong, and I wanted to find It out. "Here you go, Bev" Jonah said and gave her a black burned hot dog. "I'm not eating that, stupid." she said and throwed the hot dog at him. "Chris, please make me a new one?" Chris looked at Beverly. "Honey, you're a woman. You should know how to make a hot dog on your own. Cooking is for womens." "What are you saying?! That all girls should be homewhifes, cook for their husband, take care of the kidsand all that? Karen, have you heard this? Tell her, Chris what you told me. NOW!" Beverly got furious and Chris did his best to defend himself. "I was just saying.." "Don't mind excuse yourself, Chris. I don't care about your thaughts, anyway." Beverly said. Nobody got upset with her or Chris. Everyone knew that they would be friends any minute. I looked at Kevin. His tan looked even more sexy in the sunset. He smiled while he was talking to Sebastian. I couldn't hear their conversation, but I didn't mind. I just wanted to look at him while my favourite song was playing in the backround, Manic Street Preachers - Motorcycle Emptiness. When I heard that and looked at Kevin It felt special. Like a wanted him so much more when I heard It. This song would always remind me of him.

Dan sat in front of me. "What you thinking of, honey? You look like you're in love. So happy and shy." I smiled at him. "I am in love." That was true also. But not with Dan. Jonah walked over to the stereo and changed song. Now It was Roxette - Sleeping in my car. Again, I felt more in love than ever. "Guys, have you heard this?! Kevin is not all American!" Sebastian yelled. "What do you mean? Where are you from man?" Jonah asked. Kevin smiled. "I'm half american. My father is from Iraq." "But all the arabian boys are ugly and hairy? How can you be a arabian guy?" Beverly made a growse face. "I'm just half so.." Kevin excused himself. "So that person at pizza hut must've been your cousin or shit, right?" Jonah asked and played with a hot dog. Kevins face changed expression. He got so serious. "No, just a friend, you don't know him" "How come we've never met him If he's your friend? I mean, If you eat at the pizza hut with him he must be a good friend. You hate pizza." Dan stared at him. "I didn't eat. I was just keeping him company." I knew It was wrong of me, but I just had to do It, for Kevins sake. I interrupted the conversation. "Dan, would you please sit by me instead? It's getting kinda cold over here." Dan moved over to me right away, layed his arm around me, gave me a kiss on my cheek and told me how much he loved me. He always did. I used to feel so special, when I felt the same for him. But times changes. We kept on drinking and ate til we were close pukeing. The sun dissapeared and we lighted candels, all over the garden. This was certainly a romantic evening.

I was on my seventh beer, my second tequila shot and my fourth tequila sunrise drink. I was drunk. I started to think out of a plan to get Dan away for half an hour, or at least inside the house so I could dissapear with Kevin. I wanted to talk to him, touch his hand and kiss him once again. Dan couldn't stop kissing my cheek and Beverly and Chris was spokeing about when Chris was going to college and the space between them. I looked at Kevin, who sat and talked to Jonah and Sebastian. He smiled at something Jonah said and picked his cell phone up from the pocket of his light blue jeans. He looked at It, excused himself and walked out of the garden. "I gotta go to the bathroom, baby. I'll be back" Dan said and gave me a kiss on my forehead. Yes! I sneaked after Kevin, who still talked to someone on the phone. I kept on walking after him. "NO, don't come here! It's not even my place, dawgh! Give me some time, I'll be there in one hour. You'll get your money, okay? Alright see you there." He turned around and saw me. He jumped three centimeters. "Did I scare you?" I asked. He was just nodding. I laughed. "Sorry." I walked over to him. "I've missed you." I felt the butterflies inside my stomack. "I know." he said. I looked down but felt his finger under my chin, lifted my head up and kissed me. I felt a tear down my cheek. He saw It. "What's wrong?" he asked and looked deep into my eyes. "I'm just so happy that I can't control my feelings." He smiled and kissed me again. "Come with me" he said, grabbed my hand with his and showed me the way to the beach, 150 meters from the house. I looked over the ocean. "You can still see the sunset from here." Kevin agreed, stood behind me with his hand on my hips and his chin on my shoulder. He started to kiss on my neck, and I just couldn't resist It. I turned around and kissed him back. All of the thaughts of that somebody will see us was throwed at side. Now It was just me and Kevin, on the beach, making love in a way I never done before.

I was home alone. The clock was 11 am. I was on my way cleaning the kitchen, like my mum told me to. I didn't mind doing stuff at home, It was a perfect time to think of Kevin and the night at the beach three days erlier. We didn't spoke after that, so I was waiting for some kind of message from him. But I could understand If he didn't do It because of my relationship with Dan, wich I was going to end. I was washing the plates when the phone rang. "Karen Martin" I awnserd. "Why haven't you returning my calls? I've tried to reach you on your cell phone for like two hours!" Dan said. He sounded stressed. "I've been busy, that's all." "Stay where you are, we have to talk. See you soon." he said and clicked. The warning alarm rang inside my head. He knew, he knew It all about me and Kevin. First I didn't know what to do. But then I realized that It was good. Now was the time to end my relationship with Dan. ' Tell the truth and don't deny anything' i said to myself. Ten minutes later the car stopped outside my door. It knocked and I opend. "Hi, Dan. What a suprise" i joked. But he didn't smile. "We need to talk." I nodden. "Sure, come on in. Can It wait, I'm just gonna make some coffee." I said and closed the door after him. "No" he said and sat down on a chair in the kitchen. I sat down to. "We need to talk about Kevin." I swallowed. "Dan, It's true. I'm not gonna deny anything for you, you don't deserve It. But yes." He didn't seem to understand. "Are we talking about the same thing here..?" "Please, you go first." I said and felt unsecure. He started to cry. "Kevin is dead." My head felt like It was spinning. "WHAT?!" "Overdose. I'm so sorry, honey." He tried to give me a hug to calm me down. I just wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to break everything that was around me. But I didn't wanted to understand. "That's just bullshit!!!" I said and cried. "Kevin didn't do drugs, you fucking idiot!!" I was hysterical. Dan pressed me into his chest and hushed. "I'm so sorry honey, he did. The guy at pizza hut was his contact." "No, no that's not true. NO!" I protested. Suddenly I reminded myself of that weird smell that obviously came from the ciggarette that night when we kissed for the first time. Marijuana. Now I was sure that Kevin took drugs, but I didn't wanted to belive It. Neither that he was gone. Forever.

I'm lying here, In my bed right now. Tomorrow It is one year ago he died. I can't sleep. All the memories of Kevin will always be in my mind, but at night It's hard not to cry. The whole gang is gone. Chris started at college across the country, at NYU, Jonah moved with his family to Canada, Sebastian Is in jail because he robbed a store, Beverly works at a barbeque-shop three hours from here, Dan and I broke up and after that he didn't wanted to see me again, Kevin is dead and I'm just lying here, in my bed, thinking of all memories. I haven't done anything with my life. I don't feel like doing anything anyway. I just want to rewind the time and do It all over and over again. I closed my eyes, and prepared to sleep. Tomorrow I'll go to his grave with flowers. I'm always the one that's doing It, all alone. I know he's grateful. I just hope that he know that I love him so much. I started the radio to make me feel better, but I had so wrong. The song was playing, Motorcycle Emptiness. I cried. In my mind I was one year back in time, with Kevin on the beach, where he tells me how much I mean to him. If I could live that time once again I wouldn't do It diffrent. The time with Kevin O'Maley, I will never forget. Ever.